Today

Sayings like "There will be only 1 today" or "1 day at a time" have rang more true in my life. I want more drive in my life. If you have ever met anyone with a deadly disease you have seen another side of that person. They live more. They change because it becomes more prevalent that there is an actual time stamp on life. They only have so much time left. What have I done and what is still left to do?

What does it mean to be called by God?

I just heard a story of a couple being "called" to another state. They packed up and headed out. No jobs in that state. Not sure the time frame but the husband still does not have a job and they will most likely loose their house. So were they called? Did they mis understand the calling? Did they make up this thought so they could get out of dodge and this made them feel better about the move?

I am sure that God leads us. I also know that He wants us to trust in Him for everything.

He asks us to be still and know that He is God. Psalm 46:10
Don't worry about tomorrow. Matt 6:34

So today is kind of a big day. If I only focus on what my life looks like in the future then I will never get there. God has provided enough for me for today. He takes care of the flowers of the field. They are beautiful. How much better will He take care of me? If I seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness all these things will be added unto me. Matt 6

I write this as encouragement for you but I also need to hear it.

Have an awesome thanksgiving.

Pray for me to quite living for me. Let go and let God.

I don’t know if I have what it takes.

I come from a place where a statement like this ruled my world. I know for a fact now that this is true. I believe that I do not have “it” in me to be. I have spent my entire life with a reach for acceptance. I have yearned for acceptance from people. At times I wanted to have “the status”. That status has changed overtime and in some very small moments I was there. In those times I was seeking the wrong status and the moments were unfulfilling.

I have been fighting a funk recently. Feeling that things have been stolen from me. Those things were joy, good times and a connection to some people that I believe had potential. It still shocks me that a few negative things can drag down some things that had possibilities that I could only dream of. That is satan’s foothold. The fact that I mentioned earlier is that God built us as relational beings. I have sin in my life so I use this need for a relationship and replace it with acceptance. Instead of leaning on the tools that I believe in to allow me to sit at the throne of my King, my foggy mind is tempted to seek those things elsewhere. Acceptance from people that are also sinners. People that may never be able to deliver what I am seeking. I truly wish that I was a better writer so I could make this more clear. There I go again seeking the acceptance from you (the reader). It is why we blog right?

I saw Social Media tonight and it dripped with this same theory. Maybe not with the same belief system but from the same type of person. A sinner. I really enjoyed the movie and it has shown me the light at the end of this tunnel of funk. The light is actual the thing that I need. I need the spirit of that light to dwell in me and shine. That is the only true acceptance that I need.

I, in no way, have this all figured out. I am glad that I can get this out of my head and into my online journal.

Here is a great take on the movie as well http://www.thefilmforum.net/

Balance

It is that time of year. School is getting ready to start up for the kids again, the year is half of the way over and I start to think about what the rest of this year is going to look like. There will only be 1 2010. What extraordinary thing will happened this year or what has happen in 2010 that was life changing. This year has been a roller coaster but it is a staple year in my life. Lots of things changed about how I need to live every day life. My "what is the point" way of thinking has prioritized things differently as well.

So what is next?

Going to get focused on balance. I want to start the day right, in the word to hear what God has for me. Financially planning out the future more how God wants us to spend our money instead of the way that I think it is fun and selfish to spend. I want to start to think of others before I worry about what I can get out of every equation. When the time is right I want to look more into missionary work with MAF.

Life in the west is different. Sometimes it feels like what you drive and where you live makes you who you are. When I was first married we lived in an apartment. I remember seeing S class Mercedes and cars like that in the car ports of our neighbors. It was always interesting to me to see them living in an apartment (these were not luxury apartments) and drive cars that were worth the same as some homes in the mid-west.

When I was up visiting my Grandpa we talked a lot about his life and he also asked about mine. When I was getting ready to leave my Grandpa hugged me and said "Don't get lost in the shuffle." I have so much respect for my Grandpa. He is a man that I would most want to be like.

My wife and I have been listening to Dave Ramsey. His financial plan is not easy to follow but I do believe that it is more how God would want us to spend His money. A year ago I would have avoided this like the plague. Now it is getting exciting to think that we can own our cars and pay cash for them. Living without the stress of money seems possible now.

All of this said my prayers are going to be "Please give me the knowledge and wisdom to balance all of this." Thank God he provides us the skills where we are weak. All glory and honor and praise to Him.

Shaun

What's Next

I am ecstatic to be where I am at in life. I also recently have been thinking "What's next." Possibly expand the companies that I am involved in to make more possibilities and money. I will work diligently on this but what about the bigger picture? Then of course I thought "What's the point?". I have also been thinking a lot about ministry. I realize that my family is my ministry right now. I want to prepare my life so my territory can be expanded. I am looking into a certificate program for airplane mechanics. I was turned on to a missionary organization called Mission Aviation Fellowship. No way can I do this now but I am looking into having the qualifications under my belt to be a part of this when the time is right. My thought is to do the schooling to get my AMP (Airplane Mechanic) certificate. Then when the time is right and if we are lead there we can go serve in this field. I watched some videos on youtube of MAF. The program is time consuming so I am weighing the options. I love to fly and I love to serve. I would also bring the photography aspect to this to help with letting others know the impact that this organization has. We will see what happens with this. Your prayers would be much appreciated.

What is the point?

Been trying to ask myself that question more. If I can get my priorities straight and try not being so selfish then this question will do wonders for quality of life. Imagine the time that I could save by asking what the purpose is behind each decision. This is just a goal. I still have to keep my priorities in line. If they are out of whack then again, what is the point.

I have been asked if I regret anything in life. I often answered that I did not regret anything. "I went through those things for a reason". I do believe the lateral part of that. I do regret a lot of things in life though. So what is the point. I think that regret is ok if you mourn the loss and move forward. A lot like repentance. The change of heart is what matters. Been investing some time into that part of life and it is hard but I feel that God is helping me through it. When it comes down to it the only thing I think that I have control of is my expectations. My expectations can change the experiences that I have in life. My expectations that I have for some of the closest people in my life are the hardest to change but if and when I can change the expectation then that relationship will be better.

Enough babbling. Thanks for reading. Be honest and tell me what you think about all this.

Blogging

With Twitter, Facebook and other forms of social media I feel like I micro blog all of the time. I would dabble here or there with blogging but never followed through with any consistent length of posts. This is probably the same idea of a shot at blogging haha.

So here we go again...

32. Been shooting since 2000. Burnt out. Miss the fire that existed for shooting. I am in love with building business. Been in love with product management and product experience for around 4 years. Using my laundry list of experience to focus on product. Photo industry is in such a fun place in need of some real leadership. That excites me. I wish I was a better writer and speaker. I am sure I could get better if I focused and studied. I am lazy so that is an unlikely future for me. I am ok with that. I am ok with being the guy who rocked it with little or no recognition. I love my family. Been spending some awesome time with them lately. Want to give my family what is good for them. Want them to know that when I fall short God can fill that void. 3 kids and an amazing wife. She is hot! One day at a time is my new slogan. That is how God designed it but it is hard to accomplish. Selfless living is the goal. Another hard one to be good at. Currently reading Delivering Happiness. Good book. Need to read the word more consistently. Things that I look forward to. Time with the family at our pool. Dinner together with the family. Monday night study. Friday morning Photog Ignite.

All for now.